confused

Ok guys, so I've been with my girl for 1 year and 2 months.. We've been with each other every day besides maybe a week in all. ( maybe i smothered her, she claimed to like it) anyways I went to work the other day she hang out with her friend.. her friends b/f came over and brought another guy with him. they all went swimming together riding in the other guys truck and she decided to never tell me. so the next day i go to work again and shes hanging out with the same friend.. the guys come over and they go four wheeler riding with them my girlfriend has to ride on the back holding onto one of the guys.

that is where it began.. i got mad, i personally thought i had a very good reason. Yes i trust her, but that's jsut wrong to do to me right?
The next day we're fighting bad.. very bad She's saying she's just not happy with me talking about her age is suppose to be out having fun partying ect ect ( she's a teen).. which i mean ok.. i kinda agree, but i also find that stuff pointless.\

today she decides to tell me that we need to not spend as much time together so she can have time with her friends.. and no, im not ok with it.. but I told her ok. I just want her happy, and ill do w/e it takes to get that. all I want is what we had back ya know?

What's yalls opinions on the situation? I've not only fell in love with her, but her family as well over the year... Her little brother.. he's 11, he has ocd and ADD, he doesn't have many friends at all as expect.. they were riding down the road when he says " I like having a big brother, I've never had one before, it's cool.

I'm sooo attached wtf do i do?

7/1 12:20 AM.
I just got back home.. made this account.. I just took her home, she had to be back by 12, I think i got her there at like 11:59 or something... Idk, I walked her to the door.. watching the ground the whole time hoping maybe she'll realize that this is killing me.. I got to her porch hugged her.. as tight as i could (I've felt weak all day ) I kissed her... told her I loved her and started walking off.. She said my name I turned and looked hoping maybe.. maybe now it's gettting to her.. But i was wrong. so i went to the car... drove out of her driveway as slowly as possible watching my rear view mirror the whole time.. Getting to the end realizing she's not going to come running.
I live.. maybe a mile away, i think it took me like 10 mins, I Don't feel the need to care about anything anymore. Nothing matters if I can't enjoy it with her.. I thought this is what girls wanted? Now im sitting here, looking at the background on my computer *It's me kissing her forehead and her smiling when we were at the beach. Crying.. guys arent suppose to do that, but i've done it more in the psat 24 hours then i've done in my entire life

2:17 am
I just got done texting herm telling her I was going to bed.. heh, I talked to her about the ring i bought her for our 1 year.. she wanted so bad fo me to purpose to her with it and.. I didn't, maybe because I was looking out for her, or maybe I knew this would come one day, and it would be ten times worse.. I'm not sure.. I told her I was going to bed, knowing I'm Won't actually fall asleep till 5 or later.. You know the twilight movies, new moon.. edward leaves, and every night she has those break downs.. I can relate :(

11:36
I just gout out of the shower, she messaged me said good morning she said she was going to take a shower, though i really wanted to take one with her here.. She procceded to tell mer her period was too bad and she didnt want to, but she'd sit in the bathroom while i did.. I didn't sleep at all last night.. I've been up for 27 hours now.. She said she can't handle me being miserable like this, so why is she making me miserable... are her friends really worth it.. if she loves me? I don't mind here being with them, I don't want her to pick up their habits though.. I think having friends is a good thing, but is it wrong to want her to only be with friends whom are girls?
I woke up with 5 texts from people asking me if im ok.. I'm not ok. My whole life is coming down extremely fast =/.

6:12 p. m .
I went to her house around 12 p.m. stayed there while she got ready, thinking the whole time how beautiful she is.. We came back to my house, she said she wanted to have sex... I'm not one to ever turn that down.. But from our make out secession yesterday i kinda knew... and i told her, I don't think i'll be able to get hard. She told me to kiss her from her lips to her belly button, which i did.. and i admit it worked a little, so we began.. It didn't work out to well.. I decided to stop after.. 2 mins. I can't do that activity with my feelings like this.. It's not what's goingto make me happy, even though yeshh... it always has before.. but that's because before.. I wasn't ever hurt like this.. We sat aaround for the next few hours talking, trying to joke and be happy.. we listened to some music normal stufff i guess.. but then 5 :20 came and it was time to take her to her friends.. I feel the lump in my throat when it gets close to that time now... I drove slow.. very slow.. I just wanted to be with her for as long as possible.. I didn't want to let her hand go when she was leaving, but knew i had to.. =/. All i want is for things to be back to normal, her being with me as much as possible.. enjoying my company.. and loving me.

11:54 pm.

Yeah so.. I just went out... Her mom came and got her from her friends... I bought some tabs... maybe to help.. maybe ill just look at them.. idk still deciding.. We just broke up.. after i leftt i sped out crying screaming at nothing asking whom ever wtf did i do to deserve this... heh, I went straight to a church.. I've asked god many of times to help me out, none of which he ever has... I sat on the front step, simply telling him.. fuck you. Fuck everything you've never done for me. fuck not being real. You let your son die so we could live... who the fuck wants to live a life like this?
Obiously he never had the chance to fall in love when he walked the earth.

2:16 is am
beach with her fo r a week,,, kets see what i can do